Monday morning. Beautiful blue skies and cool breeze. This won't last long as it will hit 95 today.
I feel like I'm getting ready to go on a big trip - anticipation, some tears, a lot of mental preparation. Anticipation of a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I have many expectations - exact answers, what caused this in the first place, a plan of what we will do next. I heard over and over my situation is rare; there are not studies on this, there are simply not enough people in the population who become toxic to chemotherapy. Since chemo itself is "toxic"...that is pretty amazing -- that so many can tolerate it and find success.
Our constant prayer is that the cancer was killed by the amount of chemo I was able to take...that this will be the end of the the need for chemotherapy. AND all that will remain are check ups, every 3 mos until I reach the "once a year"stage. That is our prayer.
We come again and ask for your prayers in regard to our meeting tomorrow. That we will understand what we need to understand and there is clarity and most of all that we will lean on God for all of these things we need. Oncology is out of my league. I have to listen very closely. Pray for us to discern what is said. Dr. Clark is meticulous in his research, he doesn't play fast and loose. He's cautious and yet aggressive. I have such regard and respect for him. Please mention him in your prayers - for wisdom.
We enjoyed a great week with Lisa. She was at the ready, allowing me to rest, and being a big help on every level for Jim. She made wonderful summer time meals and kept the doors flying open for Scout (Molly's dog), Coco and Sophie. They are a bit lost today. No Lisa and no Scout. I cannot thank you enough - ever. You are a blessing to our lives - always.
I'm feeling stronger everyday. I am taking advantage of the week to rest and continue walking the perimeter of our yard. I'm eating better and waiting for weight to show up on my body and for the numbers to increase on the scale. I know when it starts showing up, I will be more steady on my feet.
I developed orthostatic hypotension (meaning normal or low BP at rest and as you get up, the BP drops causing dizziness, lighthead, and fainting. I have joined Molly's world. I hope this is something that will resolve in time. Meanwhile I'm drinking my electrolytes and receive hydration.
I just read a piece on trusting God while in pain. That is a tall order yet Paul speaks to this often. We don't know anything past the moment we are in; trusting God has to be learned and adhered to...He does know our lives and views all things with eternal perspective. So I'm working on giving God thanks for all circumstances in my life. Again, a tall order, but God is faithful and His Spirit leads. I only have to listen and follow, believing God does know what He is doing in all areas of my life. (Phil 4:6, I Thess. 5:18)
Wishing you a wonderful day wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
Molly turns 20 this week and will leave for college in Lubbock 4 weeks later. A lot of changes in our lives. I've got a lot to learn. I'm ready.
love kathryn