Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Jim...So Far

Very good news.  No tumors, no brain lesions, no pituitary problems.  He does has arthritis in his neck.  An answer to the neck pain that had not been answered.
He does have nerve damage in his face.  They will run a stationary MRI - showing 'slices' of the nerves in his face.  He has not been on any medication that will help the pain he's suffered since last winter.  The dr said they could do a nerve block today or he could offer him medication.  Jim said he would like to get the MRI done today.  No nerve block or medication until the test is done.  He is scheduled for the MRI at 6pm.  We are hopeful he will learn the results this evening or early in the morning.
Lessons to learn:  Do not run into a steel tool cabinet - head on, then run into a wooden door while carrying a solid wood desk about an hour or so later. 
It's hard to believe he's been through so many tests; so many drs - all with the same information and it took a trip to Barrow Institute to get answers.
I'll post results when the results are in.
He's still dealing with intense fatigue and balance issues.  Those are to be addressed by the dr here.  If there are no answers forthcoming in ABQ,  Mayo Clinic is only an hour by plane.  It's wonderful to have this option. 
YOU have more than blessed us with your prayers for Jim and for both of us.  We pray for your needs and concerns as we hear from you.  This is not a one way street by any means.
All in all, we feel like we can breathe a bit easier. 
More later.  Many, many thanks.
Blessings to you,

He's Got The Whole World...Mine is Manageable

Beware of DIY sites.  I bought this globe about 2 years ago.  I wasn't sure what to do with it, but I knew something would strike me.  It did.  Paint it with chalkboard paint.  Another place to doodle and steal quotes to pen on the whole wide world.
It's still needs some touch ups, but it's almost completed.  I can see the next projects in my minds' eye.  I'm going to finish this before I move on.  I'm ready to "take on the world".
It is so nice this morning.  I went indoors to begin the purge of the kitchen counters and decided I can do that when it's too warm to be outside.  I'll do some reading and enjoy the pups.
I hope you are doing what you enjoy today.
love kathryn

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Life is but a dream, but this does not involve rowing

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. ~Albert Einstein

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Was Once A Mother

I always enjoyed reading "Are You My Mother?"  It was sweet and everyone was kind to the new little hatchling.  That books and show like that were just comforting, funny and made you feel good about how life was going.  Learning was taking place, new words were being identified by the one being read to. Soon, so soon, she was literally covered in all of her books.  Reading them as fast as she could.  She knew the "jist" of every story at age 3, just not all of the words..who cared?  She had developed a passion for reading.  As the bystander in this little life, I had prayed for this and found my prayer answered in spades.
I also prayed the ocean would be a place of incredible delight - the vastness would not scare or be a place that felt dirty due to the sand.  To this day I see a 2 yr old - holding her arms full out, looking at the ocean and the sky...as if in worship for all she was taking in.  I said thank you.
These past few years have taken a toll on me, on both of us, that is indescribable.  We remember HER.  The core of her.  The being God created.  We are now seeing another side.  Things I cannot discuss.  I DO know this.  The precious word that God started in her is being hidden.  It's being put under a bushel basket.  She is alone and does not know where to turn.  She has chosen to turn to the world for answers and it is a void. 
We've literally prayed 1000s of prayers for her.  As have our friends and family.  People who do not know us, utter fine and precious words to God on her behalf. 
She is in so much noise (to quote a friend) she cannot hear Him knocking, every so gently upon the door to her heart.
We are confused.  We live a simple and quiet life.  We know things we cannot discuss at this time or maybe never.  We simply beg you pray for Jim and I.  We had entered the land of giants, they are all around us.  However, we know we have a God who can squash a giant with merely a thought.  Our God loves her.  Loves us.  Is not wringing his hands but is weeping the prayer of lament over his little lamb. 
Pray specifically for our anger...though it's part of this process...to use it for good.  Pray for sleep.  Jim sees a neurosurgeon on Tuesday morning in Phoenix.  We do not know (though we've asked) what he is going to say to Jim.
You are always a blessing - like gold, spun gold, in our lives.  There is not one of you who has not crossed into the fast moving waters or stood on the edge of a mountain and wondered how you were going to get out. 
We want to live in grace.  Be God's precious children.  We want peace restored as well as calm.  We may not get that.  We pray for strength to be what we are called to be.  Though surrounded by great darkness, He is the Light of the World.
love kathryn

Friday, August 19, 2011

T.G.F.A.V.G.F. (thank goodness for a very good friday)

Jim's colonoscopy was a success.  Two small polyps (just so sure he doesn't mind sharing this type of information...just sure....sure,I'm sure).  They were removed.  He does not have cancer.  The polyps are benign.  Now THAT information is the TerriFic!!!
Our nurse prayed over Jim that his doctors would find a resolution to the other problems.  To receive that kind of blessing, without a second thought on her part - the Lord spoke to her heat and she listened.  She said the Lord heals and blesses all who ask. Her touch, was healing, brought tears to our eyes - we were all blessed.  Be a blessing by surprising others in need with your prayers.  Take their hands; pray for them. It stops the pain or hurt, it sets people back on their heels - they are blessed.  Jesus touched people with his hands.  It was a blessing.  It also puts them in touch with the truth -what is truly real.  He is the lover of our souls. Whether the person chooses to know more or not, their hearts and lives are changed.  It is a mind bending, heart changing gift. It lifts the heaviness from any and all situations. We never know when those words could be drawn from at another moment.  A touch, a hug, a smile.  These things change our world....as well as theirs.

I found a blouse, purchased by the one and only owner - circa1970.  I feel so young wearing this tunic/embroidery shirt.  I am 17 again.
1. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel
2. (They Long to Be) Close to You, The Carpenters
3. American Woman/No Sugar Tonight, The Guess Who
4. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head, B.J. Thomas
5. War, Edwin Starr
6. Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Diana Ross
7. I'll Be There, The Jackson 5
8. Get Ready, Rare Earth
9. Let It Be, The Beatles
10. Band of Gold, Freda Payne
11. Mama Told Me (Not to Come), Three Dog Night
12. Everything Is Beautiful, Ray Stevens
13. Make It With You, Bread
14. Hitchin' a Ride, Vanity Fair
15. ABC, The Jackson 5
16. The Love You Save/I Found That Girl, The Jackson 5
17. Cracklin' Rose, Neil Diamond
18. Candida, Dawn
19. Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)/Everybody Is a Star,
       Sly and The Family Stone
20. Spill the Wine, Eric Burdon and War
21. O-O-H Child, The Five Stairsteps
22. Spirit In the Sky, Norman Greenbaum
23. Lay Down (Candles In the Rain), Melanie and The Edwin
Hawkin Singers
24. Ball of Confusion (That's What the World Is Today),
The Temptations
25. Love On a Two Way Street, The Moments

I can still sing a few lines from all of those 70's hits.  (how scared do
you want to be?)
Anyway...her mom, washed it, starched and ironed it and it's been a
cedar  chest since 1970...mint condition - all for $12.00. 
Now about those wrinkles on my neck and the man who gave me
a senior discount at the movie theater - without asking......hmm.
I'll leave you with my favorite photo of the moment.
..and you shall find rest for your soul... 
                         I am going to stand in Hope and live in Joy
love kathryn

"There are no tulips around here so I'll tip toe through the zinnias and morning glories." sophie

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Call Him and Listen

" On the day I called, you answered me, you increased my strength of soul."
Psalms 138:3

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Brief Brief Re: Jim

Another appointment to discuss findings on his latest blood work results.  He has some problems in relation to low red blood counts.  We will listen and see what we learn tomorrow.  My gut feeling?  More tests. 
It's fajitas for dinner tonight.  I hope you are enjoying whatever you like to eat on this much cooler (at least here) Monday evening.
Jack...we wish you all new A/C very soon.  There are 2 adults and 6 dogs in this house.  All are taking turns in front of the fans.
I finally finished "The Help".  A good read.  There is still a stack of books waiting to be opened or finished.  Of course, I'm always looking for just one more book to read.
My brother will soon be en route to Afghanistan.  He's been "enjoying" his time in Kuwait.  He shared with us the pleasure of finding high end port a pottys and that the view of sand is never ending....and for some reason, they have all had a steady diet of fish of every type.  (no lobster thermidor or shrimp scampi).  All kidding aside - this is serious business for him and for all of our troops. 
Let's all get and stay well for a while.  How about it?
love kathryn

E.N.T. Visit...

Dr. H saw Jim this a.m.  He is sending him for a balance test and to a Dr who will examine his vocal chords.  As for the BAER test.  The reason Dr. H said this test is not used, is due to the very obvious fact.  Jim wears hearing aids. A pre-hearing test must be performed before doing the BAER test or the results are skewed.  Even if you do have a hearing test, due to hearing loss, it may not be accurate.  He said, right now you do not need to see anyone in the neurology field.  "Good night! they will mess with your brain!!" (he's a funny guy and intelligent).  We are still waiting on the results of the blood work done last Friday.  Hopefully, we will know what has caused the anemia. 
So we just have had some good news.  And we praise the Lord for this appointment (that everyone insisted he must have) and for the follow up appointments/tests. 
I just read from Henri Nouwen's readings on solitude and poverty.  Poverty stopped me in my tracks.  Our language is limited - it's a great language, but there are deeper meanings to our words and clarification is welcome.
"Poverty is where we experience our own and other people's weakness, limitations, and need for support.   To be poor without success, without fame and without power.  But there God chooses His love...".  Jesus says, Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  When we hide ourselves in Christ, though we are burdened and many times in despair, he sends His own Spirit to comfort us and sort things out - if we are listening to His word.  I get myself in such a tangle.  The wires from my head and my heart get so twisted, they short out, shutting down power. The power is never of my own making, but I can short circuit the Power.  God comes in with new fuses and fresh wires (I love all of the colors of those wires) and rewires my entire system.  He gently, but with firmness in His voice, states these words (my paraphrase).
 "You, Kathryn, must be convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all of My creation, will separate you, Kathryn, from my (overwhelming) love. This river of love flows from my Son, Your Savior, Kathryn, Christ Jesus, Your Lord."
We believe we are on the right path.  Our paths sometimes swerve in all directions, but this sounds very promising to us.
We love you!
(for readers...I should have edited better.  I had other things on my mind.  I hope the corrections make better sense).

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Painting, Picking Tomatoes, Reading & Enjoying the Morning

  Good Morning Purple Face!

Sophie likes sleeping in the zinnia bed...she is on her way over right now.
Happy Faced Zinnias.  They love the heat - not wicked heat, but enjoy showing off in the bright sunshine.
Coco and Scout found a pallet on the den floor is the best way to stay cool.  Scout caught me, but rolled over & went back to sleep.
Jim had a morning to sleep in.  I was on the patio spending time reading and doing a little research re: Jim's situation. I read enough to make me very dangerous.  So I put it away.  We are in God's care.  Dr. L. in Phoenix is going to review Jim's latest MRI.  We are waiting to find out what type of anemia he has so he can be treated for that. Staying awake may be highly overrated in the "real world".  It's not for those dealing with major fatigue issues.
Peggy phoned to let me hear the ocean this past week.  Music to my ocean starved ears.
From my morning reading: "Learn to enjoy life more...relax, remembering that I am God with you."   My paraphrase, 'walk with childlike delight, enjoying each and every thing, say out loud, I trust you, God, I know you love me and are with me."  Though we've had some detours, valleys, bumps in the road - we do laugh a lot (most of you would state our humor is quite twisted)...but we either laugh or fall into a dark place.  Laughter IS the best medicine.  We are planning a get away very soon and are looking forward to a different view - which always leads me to a different viewpoint. 
Though there are still moments we stub our toes, lose perspective and get way ahead of God, we come back in thankfulness for all He is doing in our lives.  We are in the potter's hands.  I think there have been many re-do's on this piece of clay.  One day I will get to see it and be so very amazed at what He has created from a single lump of clay.  To quote "Mercy Me" - I can only imagine. 
Meanwhile...tomatoes are coming on.  We indulged in fried green tomatoes.  Yummy!  The eggplants are full of beautiful lavender blooms and the large sunflower plants are reaching ever upward.  Looking for that brilliant summer sun.
"God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters."
                                                      ***from Streams in the Desert"
..."I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land...let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you."  from Psalms 143
I cannot believe it's time to returned to school.  I'm sure school teachers/administrators are not having has much of a problem with this as I am. : )
love on this Saturday morning,