Vanity, Vanity......

It's a kitchen morning. Reading some email, writing a couple of emails - enjoying a cup of coffee. I love cool fall mornings, even if I'm jumping the gun on the calendar, these mornings feel like fall. The dogs running about the backyard, Scout chasing Sophie, Sophie getting all huffy about it, yet she comes back for more, laying at Scout's feet, ready for more "abuse". Hard to feel sorry for this cat - she complains and yet puts herself right in line of "fire". They remind me of the monkeys at the zoo. Picking and nipping and Sophie swinging from one high place to another only to swing back and pick up where they left off.
I was talking to a friend this morning about this issue of - vanity. I certainly have those issues. I thought I would be 30 forever. No raving beauty here, but I just didn't think about wrinkles and crepe like skin.
Looking into the face of my maternal grandmother when I was 20, should have been a clue. Now to all in the Bullington family, do not take offense! She had a beautiful face; the lines and the wrinkles bore witness to her life; each one had a particular story. Some stories were exciting (she loved horses) and other stories spoke of years of hard work, raising 7 children, laughter, hurt, pain and grief. When she laughed, all of these lines and wrinkles joined in the laughter and moved in (remember I was young) in mysterious ways. Did my grandmother ever sit in front of her mirror at night, brushing her hair, saying, my goodness! where do these wrinkles come from? Did she care? I cannot know the answer to those questions. I have 2 aunts and my mom who may shine a light on these questions - or they may just say, how silly, we have more important things to think about.
After a couple of rounds of chemo and a stint in the hospital, I have lost a lot of weight. One of these days, I'll wake up and I will once again be able to wear the clothes in my closet.
I'm fascinated with how our brains work. After recovering for this past couple of months, I look in the mirror, finally seeing a semblance of "self" again. Then I walk into the bathroom with the sky light or am out walking, and glance into a plate glass window and wonder who that very skinny, crepy skinned woman is? And what's up with that neck? It looks like a harp, tendons bursting forth so proudly. Yipes, that's me. Add to this, age spots and should I mention these purplish veins etc etc. It takes a lot of intestinal fortitude - this aging process. We "boomer" people who have lived in Peter Pan's "Never, Neverland" are making our way into Reality Land. ouch.
It is not a surprise the amount of money spent on cosmetic "readjusting". We cannot purchase more time, but we can purchase a way to makes us believe we are 'forever young' - however, this endeavor is like stopping a tsunami. Time, gravity, genes, all get their way sooner or later.
Joan Rivers face makes me uncomfortable. In my opinion, her face looks like it's screaming to get out. It has been stretched to it's outer most limits. She looks nothing like the Joan Rivers of my youth.
So as we were talking, we both could hear our mother's words - "pretty is as pretty does"; "beauty if only skin deep"; "true beauty lies within", "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity".
Fortunately, for all who life in the Lord of Heaven and Earth and wrinkles and the rest - in the twinkling of an eye - we will be changed - we will have no wrinkles to discuss, whether or not our necks have turned us into turkeys or not. "Should I have my eyes done?" It won't matter. However, for today, I will hang out with a jar of good night cream and try to age with some grace and recall how my grandmother's wrinkles rolled with her - literally....through some very intense storms, but most of all through the laughter.
Speaking of laughter, I'm reading Betty MacDonald's books (of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle fame). The stories of her own life are laugh out loud funny and many parts of her life were not laugh out loud funny. Though she has been gone for several decades, she still brings a smile to many faces. As these wrinkles and lines continue to appear - o! so quickly, may these lines be created more from laughter than tears.
May your day be filled with joy and laughter!
love kathryn